Imbibing

There's no use trying to suppress that feeling of glee, for speeding at you at an incredibly underwhelming speed (due to the Orientalist nature of this T1 connection) is the next edition of WHEN IN EGYPT...

I'm fond of quads on college campuses, and Carleton has two-ish, which, if you're unfamiliar with the campus, have been christened (officially) the Bald Spot and (unofficially, and also a tad un-creatively) the Mini Bald Spot. As the city of Cairo almost as a whole lacks green grass, AUC's quads are a bit more nontraditional: cement and brick cobblestones enshrouded by a mismatch of towering modernist buildings and former palatial estates. Yet students treat these sacred areas just the same (save for the absence of frisbees); perhaps here at AUC the quad substitutes for more of a fashion runway than at its distant relatives (U.S. LACs). And there's something else which is certainly out of place...I can't really say if it's more off-putting or just bizarre.

So, dear reader, I want you to imagine something. Imagine me, your typical college junior, walking across some nondescript campus quad at the U.S. academic institution of your choice. Looking thoroughly collegiate while nonchalantly walking to class, a little proud of my disheveled nest of hair at 9:30 AM in the morning, I pop open a can of O'Doul's halfway across the surrounded lawn without batting an eye. I imagine looks of utter confusion masking condescending and malicious glares would result.

Yet on the other side of the globe, the drink of choice for teetotalers, twelve steppers, and precocious fifteen-year-olds is slowly making its way onto college campuses, the Mecca (if you will) of American binge drinking. Ironically, it's happening where most students never drink alcohol, let alone on campus on their way to Management 201.

Have a Freeze, which looks suspiciously like a Smirnoff Ice, with your croissant, a Barbican with your falafel, and a Birell to substitute your afternoon coffee. There's a non-beer beer for every season here in Egypt! And AUCians, "intoxicated" with their hyperbolized perceptions of the United States, guzzle them with careful abandon.